I Moved On

      So one day during mid-winter break I was really bored, nobody was free to hang out and I didn't feel like doing my homework so I was just wandering around my house looking for something to do. Eventually, I wandering into my parents room and found my dad reading Mother Night by Kurt Vonnegut. Still bored out of my mind, I started to read over his shoulder when something caught my eye.

     “It was not the thought that I was so unloved that froze me. I had taught myself to do without love.

It was not the thought that God was cruel that froze me. I had taught myself never to expect anything from Him. What froze me was the fact that I had absolutely no reason to move in any direction. What had made me move through so many dead and pointless years was curiosity. Now even that had flickered out. How long I stood frozen there, I cannot say. If I was ever going to move again, someone else was going to have to furnish the reason for moving. Somebody did. A policeman watched me for a while, and then he came over to me, and he said, "You alright?"
"Yes," I said.
"You've been standing here a long time," he said.
"I know," I said.
"You waiting for somebody?" he said.
"No," I said.
"Better move on, don't you think?" he said.
"Yes, sir," I said. And I moved on.” 

       The first time I read this, I read it as a student. I was "analyzing" like we do in class, but just like I normally am with anything that has to do with school, I was almost completely zoned out.

       The second time I read it, I really started to interpret it and take the meaning into my life. This quote made me think of the idea of purpose and reason, and the question: is life really worth living and why? Life, at least for me, is based on purpose and reason. Why do something for no purpose? Why do something for no reason? If you're thinking "for fun," that's a purpose, and a reason. Everything is fueled by purpose and reason. If all purpose, and all reason were gone, at least for you, what would be the point in living? At that point, living is just surviving. 

       A moment where I was truly posed with the question of "is life worth living and why?" is a very serious one. I was having a fairly relaxed Saturday night, watching some soccer when I received a text from a friend of mine (I won't say who it was because it is their business) saying they needed to talk. After about an hour of going through this persons pretty horrible day, I found out that they were on the verge of suicide. This was really shocking for me, and I didn't really know what to say, so I just simply asked: "Why?" Looking back, this probably wasn't the best response except for this person took it in the very best way. Now they didn't text me back, so I started getting pretty worried. But after 45 minutes, they texted back "thanks." So I went with it and said no problem. The next day I was hanging out with this person, and they were in the best mood I had ever seen them in. I asked them, "So what happened last night?" and this person gave me the most simple answer and I will never forget.

       "I thought about everything, I found my purpose, and I moved on." 

       In conclusion, I would like to leave you with the words of a wise man who has made mistakes and learned from them, Justin Bieber, who said,"Life is worth living."